Crazy Make ‘Em Ups® is the party game of bad decisions! The gameplay is very loose and open to interpretation so you and your friends can decide exactly how much fun you want to have. (Hint: It should be ALL the fun. Unless you are boring. Then you should go back to that Apples to Apples™ knock off). Any rule discrepancies are resolved by the Captain, but more on that later.
[get some friends]
You can play with as many people as you want, but we’ve found that 6 +/- 2 is the ideal number. We don’t recommend playing alone. Shit gets weird.
[stack the deck]
Decide how much fun you want to have by keeping all the cards in the deck (FUCK YEAH!) or removing the cards with the drinking icon and/or the clothing icon.
[deal out the fun]
Deal 5 cards to each player. For a shorter game use fewer cards. For longer games, give them more cards! For a night you won’t remember, play with ALL THE CARDS!
[customize the cards]
Using pencil, players fill out any blanks on the cards to make complete sentences. Some cards don’t have blanks. That’s ok. Shuffle them all together and put them in the box lid or a bowl.
[pick a captain]
Pick a player to become the Captain using whatever criteria you think is fair: The host, the person with the pointiest ears, the biggest hooters, the most chest hair, the least pubic hair...whatever.
See “The Captain” for more info on the Captain.
Do the Stuff
Players take turns drawing cards and following the instructions on them. Unless otherwise stated, the person who draws the card performs the action. You can draw any card from the draw deck; it doesn’t need to be the top one. If you really don’t want to do the action, you don’t have to. Just discard the card and end your turn. Keep playing till the cards are gone. Then play again with new cards or keep your favorites in!
The Captain gets to resolve any disputes about how the cards are interpreted. The Captain also draws 2 cards each turn and decides which one to play. Don’t worry, the Captain changes throughout the game.
You keep trophy cards in your hand rather than discarding them. Once all the cards have been played, the person with the most trophy cards becomes the Captain for the next game. Some people might call this winning. We don’t. We just play for fun
and competitiveness is generally frowned upon. If there is a tie for the most trophy cards, pick a new Captain based on whatever criteria you want: Rock/Paper/Scissors, most naked, most intelligible, best tin foil hat...you get the idea.
Winning and Failing to Win
This isn’t a game you win. You play for fun, and that’s it. The game isn’t over until the last card is played. If you want to call the person with the most trophy cards the “winner,” that’s your business.
This Kinda Matters
You will frequently be told to put a card in your hand. This means you hold onto it for the duration specified. Sometimes it is a number of rounds; sometimes there is a condition to be met; sometimes it’s until the end of the game. You don’t actually need to keep them in your hand. Putting them on the table in front of you is ok, too.
Alternative Quick Play Rules
If filling out the cards is too time consuming, you can simply put them in the draw pile without filling them out and follow these instructions:
If a card with a [blank] is pulled, ask another player to verbally fill in the blank, but DO NOT let them know what is on the card. Then read the card out loud with their suggestion.
For example if the card says:
“ ____[name]____ drinks.” Ask another player for a name, and then read it out loud using the name given.
If you draw a charades card or other secret card, make sure someone whispers the [blank] to you. Otherwise everyone will know you are not smart, and you will feel shame.
Still Need Help?
Check the FAQ’s on our homepage or send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org, and we’ll answer any questions you might have! Remember, the game is played just for fun, and outside the box interpretations of the cards are encouraged! We leave it open-ended on purpose so your group can agree on what you think is the most fun way to play!
The box contains everything you need to play the game, but you might want to supply:
- aluminum foil
- scrap paper
- adult beverages
- advanced adult beverages
- friends with a morally casual attitude